So im going on my second week of this deployment and sure ive done a deployment before so i should just be use to it right ……uhhhh no hello deployment always is hard no matter if its the first time are the one hundreth time…so lets see a couple days ago was having a rough time decided to call my mom you know for some sort of supporrt or what not and this crazy lady and the nerve to tell me pretty much it was my own fault i was sad that i new what i was getting into when i married him and i should suck it up…so that was pretty much the end of that conversation i was like what a bitch so there i was left to deal with sorrow on my own…nothin im not use to thats how i was raised always lone cooked my own meals cleaned the house checked my own homework….i think thats why deployment is managable for me im use to being on my own like i love being around friends but then have days are even certain times of the day i just want to be by myself…..so really this is my first introduction to anyone that decides to read my raves and rants i plan on writing everday with whatever i feel like saying….it might be hard everyday cause i have two monster but lovely children lol…..man no one ever really can prepare someone for being mom and dad to two kids especially a newborn alot of work i dont know how single parents do it sometimes….sometimes when my oldest hailey (4) is throwing a fit about something and whinning and olivia (3 months) is crying after ive fed her ,cleaned her,played wit her and dont know what else to do i turn around for a second take a few deep breaths and pray these seven months will go by fast so i have my sanity back..when people ask how im holding up i say fine and its the truth i think during the day i dont really dwell on the deployment cause if i did that id probably drive myself crazy….the only time i really think of anything is when im bymyself which is never the kids both sleep in my room now too!so i barely have a minute to think someone always is in need of something…..well today driving my daughter to prek i got lost somewhere in the middle of no where then my gas light goes on im like great where the fuck am i….lets see gas light on, hailey crying are we there yet for the 100th time,olivia crying,and my phone ringing all at the same time i thought i was going to lose my damn mind…but all is calm right now olivia sleeping laundry going just finished dishes and organizing of the bills so till tomorrow everyone have a great day =)
